Book 5 — Elaine, the Hoarder

The Story Behind the Story

Have you ever returned home to be greeted with a pack rat invasion? Or had a picture in your head to hop out of bed, bake the cookies, put a roast in the slow cooker, and head out to work? Then actually hop out of bed to find a mess in the kitchen that will take at least an hour to clean-up first?

Goodbye cookies and nutritious dinner…

While I and one of my children were sorting, tossing, and cleaning the third section of property inherited from their dad, I had horrific dreams of what we were going to find in the middle of it all. My adrenals were sapped daily during the clean-ups from the constant fear of what was going to jump out at one of us in the next second.

Before we were finished — again, I must have slapped him up-side the head at least 62,000 times and demanded an answer to the question of, “Why?”.

The answer was always the same, “Because I might need it someday.”

My retort was, “But how long will it take you find it when you need it?”

If you’re a hoarder, organize it for retrieval and use! If you’re a hoardee, you have my deepest sympathy and I feel your frustration.

Here’s something to try…

Pretend you’re a kindergarten teacher with 32 five and six year-olds to connect with. Find the button in your student (your hoarder) to inspire organization, share with those who do need it, or dump it. And good luck! Share with us how you had success… Please!

In the meantime, enjoy the read.

HOARDER! Elaine The – Volume 5 – How many bodies does it take to jump-start the recovery of Elaine, The Hoarder?

“It depends,” says Joan Freed, the rebel life coach, “on the variables, like which corpse – if any – is the cause of the hoarding.”

This spiraling, hoarding, self-help mystery starts at Oak Flats Campground – east of Phoenix, Arizona.  It quickly moves to Wellton – east of Yuma – where Joan is greeted by Elaine, a gray-haired dumpling of a woman, and several years of saving ‘stuff’ spread over 20 acres.  From the antique road graders to the mazes of tarped sheer mountains to the stacks of cardboard box lined narrow walkways, Elaine lives in one room – the kitchen.  There she bakes her scones, compiles her puzzles – crosswords and word searches – and defends her need to continue being a collector.

While Joan is immediately slammed in the face with olfactory overload – a stench she’s never before encountered – she fears she’s gotten herself into – besides a client with a really bad sinus infection and even more very puzzling people – more than even she can handle.

Who abandoned who?  Can the source of Elaine’s grief be identified and turned into good grief before Joan is forced to escape in self-defense?

“You never really know a person until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

Lee, Harper. To Kill a Mockingbird. J.B. Lippincott & Co., 1960

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